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SAVE THE LAWYERS!
New Mandatory
Seminar for Divorcing Parents
Most courts
around the country have implemented mandatory
"impact on children" seminars for divorcing
parents. In King County, Washington, the seminar
is entitled "What About the Children?" The
purpose of the seminar is to acquaint parents
with the court process and help them understand
how children are affected by parental conflict.
The seminar also helps parents develop a
parenting plan, either informally or through
mediation.
This seminar has
been very successful, leading to a huge
reduction in conflicts between parents over
child custody. Fewer parents are litigating
their cases in court, filing for temporary
motions, protection orders, engaging in
discovery conflicts, formal settlement
conferences, and of course, trials. In fact, so
many couples are settling out of court that it
has led to a devastating reduction in habitat
and feeding grounds for attorneys. Massive
migrations of divorce lawyers have begun.
Starving herds have been observed crossing
county lines searching for jurisdictions that
still have high levels of conflict that will
sustain large populations of litigators.
(Incidentally, a herd of divorce lawyers is
called a "fleece").
Some courtrooms have become ghost-towns, with
only the occasional motion for clarification
being heard. More often, parents are
circumventing the established bar and partaking
of the services of (GASP!) paralegals to prepare
agreed documents. Despite King County's best
efforts, some parents are filing in remote
Lincoln County, where divorces are still being
granted through the mail with no attorney or
personal appearance required.
At the urging of state and local bar
associations and the Divorce Lawyer Conservation
League, the court will now mandate attendance at
a new seminar, "What About the Lawyers?" This
seminar will educate divorcing spouses on the
impact their selfish cooperation has on innocent
divorce lawyers, and to conduct themselves to
always recognize divorce lawyers' unique needs
at every stage of the proceedings. ALL King
County residents going through a divorce must
attend this seminar, even if they file their
documents in another county.
Topics to be covered include:
Why a Custody Battle is a Good Thing
Spending Your Kids' College Fund on a Divorce
Still Means Some Other Kid Gets to Go to College
(Your Lawyer's Kid)
Why a New BMW is Crucial to Your Attorney's
Self-Esteem
Preserving Lakeshore Habitat for Divorce
Attorneys Through Perpetual Litigation
(pre-divorce, during divorce and post-divorce)
Just Say Yes to Child Sexual Abuse Allegations
Making Up Domestic Violence Accusations for Fun
and Profit
Even a Toaster Oven is Worth $250 Per Hour in
Attorneys Fees: How to Fight With Your Spouse
Over Every Little Thing
Don't Throw Away That Incriminating Stuff You
Found Rifling Through Your Spouse's Personal
Things: Give it to Your Lawyer!
Fun With Discovery Abuse
The Art of Signing an Agreement While Having No
Intention of Following It
Faking Your Conversion to Cooperative Parenting
Remembering Your Attorney During the Holidays:
How to Repeatedly Dispute Implementation of the
Children's Winter Vacation Time
The Benefits of Child Relocation: Long-Distance
Parenting Plans Mean More Conflict and More
Money in Your Lawyer's Pockets
Assuring Long-Term Survival of the Species: The
Benefits of Re-Marriage and Re-Divorce
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Copyright © 2006-2011 Lisa Scott. All Rights Reserved.
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