Attention
family law attorneys, are you tired of
expensive, complicated time and billing software
that doesn't fit your needs? Do you spend more
time billing and less time collecting money from
your clients? Well, this program is for you!
Announcing Fleece 2.0
Fleece 2.0 is the
next generation of time and billing software for
family law attorneys. Features include:
Software that automatically detects when you
are due for an increase in your hourly rate.
Why stay at $200.00 per hour when you should be
billing $202.50 per hour?
Easy input of repetitive tasks. When clients
call with the same old problems, all you have to
do is hit various function keys to automatically
generate detailed itemized billing
explanations. Using pre-programmed keys will
make billing a breeze:
For example, a client calls up to whine about
something their spouse did to them. All you
have to do is hit F1, and the following will
appear:TELEPHONE CONFERENCE WITH CLIENT.
DISCUSSED STATUS OF CASE AND ACTIONS OF OPPOSING
PARTY AFFECTING CLIENT'S POSITION. OFFERED
RECOMMENDATIONS ON PROCEEDING WITH LEGAL ACTIONS
APPROPRIATE TO CLIENT'S LONG AND SHORT-TERM
GOALS.
Other pre-programmed keys are as follows:F2:
Explaining again that the toaster oven is not
worth the $200 per hour in attorneys' fees to
fight for it:
CONFERENCE WITH CLIENT RE: COST/BENEFIT ANALYSIS
RELEVANT TO MAXIMIZING DESIRABLE ASSET AWARD AND
AVOIDING ADVERSE FINANCIAL IMPACT.F3:
Talking your client out of doing something rash
and/or stupid:
CONFERENCE WITH CLIENT RE: ACHIEVING STATED
OBJECTIVES WITHIN LEGAL, MORAL AND ETHICAL
BOUNDARIES.F4: The obligatory Norman Vincent
Peale lecture, wherein you tell your client that
he/she could have it worse:
CONFERENCE WITH CLIENT EMPHASIZING COPING
STRATEGIES CLIENT MAY EMPLOY TO
SUCCESSFULLY ENGAGE IN SUBJECT LITIGATION AND
CONSEQUENT POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE OUTCOMES.
F5: Writing letters to opposing counsel:
DRAFT CORRESPONDENCE TO OPPOSING COUNSEL RE:
[Insert subject here, e.g.] STOP SICCING YOUR
CLIENT'S DOG ON MY CLIENT WHEN HE COMES TO THE
DOOR TO PICK UP THE CHILDREN.
Other customizable key-word
functions include:
Hand-holdingCounseling
PsychotherapyCussing Out
NaggingIf you think that's just peachy, wait,
there's more!
Fleece 2.0's
proprietary software includes a super-secret
embedded code that "accidentally" makes "billing
errors" that are always in your favor. The
program increases time and expenses billed to
clients by a factor that you choose, such as 5,
10 or even 50 per cent. If the client notices,
you can simply claim that the "billing program"
must have made the "mistake" and you will
promptly correct it. And of course, you will,
or risk some sort of adverse disciplinary
action. If you typically serve clients who
don't pay attention well or have poor math
skills, you will have no problems. You'll be on
the road to parking your new Jaguar in front of
your lakeshore home in no time!To order
Fleece 2.0, simply
have your credit card ready and call
1-800-BIG-BILL. Or visit our website,
www.fleece4u.com.
